James 3:2-12 - Why is Controlling the Tongue So Hard (Session 10)

What does James 3 teach about the tongue? This episode explains James 3:2–12, the power of words, why the tongue is compared to a fire, and how speech can bless or destroy.

In this verse-by-verse study through James 3:2–12, the focus is on one of the most practical and convicting sections in the book of James: the tongue, the power of speech, and the difficulty of controlling what is said. James uses vivid illustrations—a horse’s bit, a ship’s rudder, and a small fire that burns a forest—to show how something small can have enormous influence. 

This study explores:

• James 3:2–12 explained
•  why the tongue is called a fire
•  how words can cause great harm 
•  why believers struggle to control speech 
•  how the tongue can both bless God and curse people
•  what speech reveals about character and faith 
•  why heavenly wisdom is needed to help control the tongue 

A practical Bible study on speech, sin, wisdom, and Christian maturity for anyone wanting to understand the warning of James and the power of words in daily life.

Transcript

Glenn 0:15

There's an old saying that says good things come in small packages. Well, today we're going to learn that not only do good things come in small packages, but it's also true that evil things come in very small packages. We're going to learn that very small things can have a very big impact, and the smallest thing that can do either the greatest good or the greatest evil is our tongue, because in the book of James it's going to talk about the good and the evil that we can do with our mouth. And, steve, this is one of these passages that are very convicting for all of us that really care about the Word of God.

Steve 0:52

It is very convicting and it's something that we should take heed to. This is really an important part of James' epistle here, I believe.

Glenn 1:01

If you have your copy of the Word of God, turn to the book of James, chapter three. A little bit of context about what we've covered so far. James, of course, is Jewish. He's talking to Jewish Christians and he's speaking to them in the sense of very early after the New Testament church was started. He's talking about a lot of very practical things about how do we live our lives on a daily basis, and he talked about going through trial, reaching out to other people living according to a royal law of liberty, and we went through quite a bit of detail about showing that James was talking on a level of being a practical use to others, not about salvation or how we become saved Today. In James chapter three, starting at verse two, he talks about what we can do with our tongue. Steve, if you could start at James three two and read down through verse 12, for we all stumbled in many ways.

Steve 1:59

If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. Now, if we put the bits into the horse's mouths so that they will obey us, we direct our entire body as well. Look at the ships also though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire, and the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity. The tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell, for every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea is tamed and has been tamed by human race.

Steve 2:55

But no one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father and with it we curse men who have been made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come both blessing and cursing my brethren. These things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives? Or a vine produce figs? Nor can saltwater produce fresh.

Glenn 3:26

I really like this passage, steve, because of the descriptive language. He has these very practical applications, then some illustrations that are really easy to understand. The language here is just good literature, but he gives these great illustrations. He talks about the rudder of a ship and you have this huge ship and it's going through all kinds of storms and waves but the rudder can steer it through and control the ship as it goes through. This very small rudder can turn this huge ship. He talks about how a small flame can burn down an entire forest. He talks about bits in horses' mouths. Now those of us that might not be around horses, you can have a very large horse. Horses are very large, very powerful and they have a space in their mouth where you can put a small piece of metal in and the rider can control this huge animal and get it to go where he wants it to go. These practical applications are so clear that even I can understand them. I think that's one of the great things about the Word of God.

Steve 4:26

The other thing is that a horse has its own will. It can, if it wants to decide, to go a different direction, but through the bit, through the bridle, the rider is able to control it, versus a ship that's tossed about by the sea. The sea doesn't have a will, but yet the pilot of the ship, through the small rudder, can direct it. Yes, this language is very, very vivid. It also gives these different types of contrasts out of there. It's just wonderful.

Glenn 4:55

One of the interesting thing to me is, even after all these centuries, these illustrations he uses are still applicable today and we can understand them. The other thing I found interesting, steve, I was thinking about this. James, the rider of this, is the half-brother of Jesus. Jesus used a lot of illustrations and parables from nature vines, dressers and sheep and things like this. James does as well. James used these illustrations from the nature around us to make these points, just like his half-brother Jesus.

Glenn 5:25

Let's go and go through this, starting in verse 2,. It says here, for we all stumble in many ways. One of the first things I learned there is he includes himself. It says we all stumble. But then he says what are some of these ways that we can stumble is one of the questions I ask. There's a thousand ways. If I tell you I have a straight stick in my hand, there's only one way it could be straight. But if I tell you I have a crooked stick, well, you don't know which way, because there's an infinite number of ways that you could have a crooked stick. But he says we all stumble in many ways.

Glenn 6:00

I think of passages, steve, that teach that all people are sinners, romans 3-23,. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Genesis 6-5,. Every intent of the thoughts of mankind was only evil. Continually In 1 Kings 8-46, there is no one who does not sin. The Bible is quite clear in that all people have been sinners, even what we this, saint James, if you will, even the saints, even some people that we would lift up to be high and holy, people all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. James includes himself here. Do you find it interesting, steve? Even the Apostles sinned, peter sinned. In Galatians, paul says I am the chief of sinner, he doesn't say I was the chief of sinners. I think sometimes we hold some people up on a pedestal and we have to realize we're all sinners.

Steve 6:59

And we're all sinners because we're all human. That's the nature that we have as being human beings. We have the five senses and our flesh is that battle of this world. And so, yes, James is an apostle, but at the same time he is a human being. I think that gives us great comfort in knowing that he is operating with the same functions that we operate with, but yet he's giving us this practical things that we should do here.

Glenn 7:28

Verse two again says for we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he's a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. What he's saying there is that everyone sins. I have to at least mention in passing there have been people, Bible teachers over the centuries that have taught that it's possible in this life to reach the point where we do not sin.

Glenn 7:53

I would think that James disagrees with you. There's been people such as John Wesley, for example, and there's a lot of things about John Wesley that I would admire. His work ethic for one, but for most of his life he taught that we could reach a sinless perfection. Now I'm told that he changed his mind just before he died, but for most of his life he taught that it's possible, through hard work and dedication to the Lord, that a Christian could achieve sinless perfection in this life. Well, James would simply disagree we all stumble. He includes himself. He was an apostle, but again, Paul calls himself the chief of sinners. Peter sinned, we all sin. I think we have to realize, don't you, Steve, that there's this tension in the Christian life between people that we don't want to sin but we find ourselves actually sinning.

Steve 8:40

You know what brings to mind when I hear that is in manufacturing and other places they'll have in order to encourage no accidents.

Steve 8:48

They'll have a big sign that up there It'll say 20 days since the last accident or 360 days since the last accident, and it's up there. But yet when one person in the manufacturing facility has an accident, they have to start out at zero, and it starts out at one day, two days. That's what I get as far as somebody that is trying to do their best to live a sinless life, in that they have this calendar that's maybe in their mind, 20 days without sinning, 200 days without sinning, but yet once they do something then they have to wipe it all clean. And so I would say that it's tended that people that are that way they might think that this little thing that I did here I'll overlook that, and because I don't want to erase it, I want to have to start over at zero again. It's just not possible. We're here in this world and try and try as you might, you're just not going to be able to do it. I don't believe.

Glenn 9:53

The main thrust is these several illustrations around controlling the tongue. It makes the comparison to a small thing like a small flame that will burn down a force. In verse two he's saying here that if you does not stumble in what he says, then he can control the whole body. I find this interesting, steve. Why is it so hard for us to control our tongue? Why is it so hard to control what we say?

Steve 10:23

Because we have a tendency to blurt out what we are thinking without holding it back and really thinking about what we say. Many times it just comes out and there's a direct connection, or a quick connection, I should say, between a thought and what comes out of the mouth. Really, there needs to be a slow connection. This goes back to what he said in chapter one be slow to speak. This is directly related to that. We should be slow to speak. We should be thinking before we speak in order to help bridle our tongue is to be slow to speak.

Glenn 11:02

First four. Look at the ships also. Though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. That illustration is very interesting in the sense that there's storms of life. We've got all these storms, all these things that happen to us. You rightly pointed out, steve, the wind happens to the ship, but the ship has to respond to these winds that might be fickle, might be changing, might be light, might be strong. We, as we go through life, are going to face winds that blow from different directions and blow from different strength.

Glenn 11:37

The illustration here is that you can control how you respond to all these storms of life if you can control your tongue. Now, find that very interesting. Is it really possible to control the tongue? Well, he's going to tell us in a bit, but at the end of this passage he's going to give us a clue on how to do that. But first he's just telling us if you can control the rudder of a ship, you can get it through the storm. Well, if you can control your tongue, you can get it through the storms of life. That's the illustration he gives. Then, in verses five and six, he says our small fire, this little bitty flame, will start a forest fire and our tongues are set on fire by hell or speak of hellish things.

Glenn 12:22

I find that very interesting, steve, is that we can say some of the most evil things. We often seem to be. We save our strongest, most wicked things to say to those people that we love. I find that to be quite disappointing is that there's times where I've said confession time, I've said cruel things to people that I love, that I wish I could just pull the words back. But once the tongue gets active, then the words are just out there. I think, steve, what he's saying in this passage is that it's very important to control the tongue. But in that passage we read is there anything? In there? He tells us how he doesn't.

Glenn 13:03

The next section is going to have a little bit of a clue, but he's first thing he's just pointing out the problem. He's saying our tongues can cause great damage. He says in verse 8, it's an unruly or restless evil full of deadly poison. I think of other places in the Bible that talk about similar things Romans, chapter 3, verse 13 and 14,. Their throat is an open grave. With their tongues they keep deceiving. The poison of asps is under their lips, whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness. Then, in Matthew 15, 11, it is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth. This defiles the man. What are your thoughts, steve, whenever we hear that language, some of them from our Lord, and in Romans 3, the poison is under our lips. What's the impression when you hear language like that?

Steve 13:57

I also have said things in the past to loved ones and other people that weren't family members that I wished I had taken back. Some of it has to deal with that. You say it and you're supposed to be a Christian and you realize I'm not really representing Christ in a proper way. But with loved ones, especially in a marriage, each spouse knows the hot buttons that we talk about that will really set somebody off. I think that part of what James refers to as this little spark that starts a big fire that goes about and forms the course of somebody's life, those little bitty hot buttons that you say something, a little barb that you know at the time that you say it is going to set the fire that's going to set the other person off. I've also heard it say I shouldn't have said that, but that just made me feel good to say it. But later on, the fire that it sets off is not good and they don't feel good. Coming back and apologizing, being contrite with it is not something that feels good. It's the right thing to do, but it doesn't feel good. Let me say one other thing on this. This is a learning of mine.

Steve 15:13

Through the years we're told to love other Christians, other believers. And what happens? Because I know this from my life we tend to treat believers outside of our family as we should. This person is a believer. We should be loving to them. Then we get within our family unit of other believers our spouses, our believer, our children, our believers. We don't treat them as fellow believers.

Steve 15:40

I believe that we should look at our fellow family members as Christians first and treat them as we're told to treat other believers. We're told to love them in various ways, and when we have that type of attitude that their fellow believers first and family members, I don't want to say second, but we need to include them with the same way that we treat other believers outside of our family. Once I realized that that helped me to be able to bridle my tongue. It doesn't mean that I was always kept it bridled, but it did change the way that I looked at not only my family members but also outside as well. They're Christians and we should treat them as Christians and acknowledge that they're Christians and do and treat them the way that Scripture tells us that we're to treat fellow Christians.

Glenn 16:37

He uses a couple of different illustrations in this passage. He says that a spring can't produce fresh water and salt water out of the same spring. A fig tree can't produce figs and olives too. So it ought not be. He says that our tongue can both bless and then curse. It should not be the case that our tongue will praise God and then turn around and curse them and say cruel things to people around us. It should not be that we can say blessings and then turn around it into the people that we love the most and say cruel, hurtful things to them. In verse 8, it says there no one can tame the tongue. No one can tame the tongue. The older translations no man can tame the tongue. I submit, steve. God can tame it. No man can tame it, but God can tame the tongue. That's really the solution.

Glenn 17:31

If you notice this passage, we read nothing in here about what to do about it. He's just pointing out the problem. He says we have this issue with our tongue. But okay, james, what do I do about it? Well, one of the things he tells us is to seek wisdom. That's in the next passage. Can we tame our tongue? I submit no, but God can If we have the Holy Spirit inside of us and we learn of Him, then we can tame the tongue. Before we get to that, though, steve, how does our speech give witness if we think of the things we say? How does it give witness to our God and to the world around us, both the believers and the non-believers? How does our speech affect how we appear to those around us?

Steve 18:14

Our speech shows our character. James in the previous chapter is talking about how is somebody's faith manifested, basically how is it shown While he used illustrations that it should be things that are helping others, helping the poor, as one of the examples he gave that shows the faith that's inside. Here it's talking about speech.

Steve 18:42

Our speech also shows what type of faith that we profess. We might profess to be believers in Jesus Christ and to follow Christ and to become more Christ-like and then turn around and treat other people with our mouths and with our tongue that express our thoughts in such a way that aren't Christ-like. I'm speaking to myself as someone that has gone through this and still has these type of situations that come up, and it's an excellent point that you bring up, glenn, that God can bridle the tongue. I think that's a practical way of saying is is that if you feel that you've got to express something, but it's something that's hateful or it's something that's mean or it's just something that's not Christ-like, don't say it and take it to the Lord, take it to God. God, help me deal with this and help me to be able to bridle my tongue and weather the storm through it. If you do that, then he is able to help you bridle your tongue.

Glenn 19:47

Some of the meanest, cruelest things I've ever heard have come out of the mouths of people that were church members. I think we all need to take that to heart. The passage we just read was James 3, 2 through 12, and that entire passage is just talking about the problem with the tongue and how it should not be the case. The next section talks about wisdom and it contrasts earthly wisdom with heavenly wisdom. I submit that the things we say about wisdom is the one that can help with our tongue. If we learn heavenly wisdom, then that'll give us the ability to deal with some of this problem with our tongue. As long as we're dealing in earthly wisdom, then I think it's always going to be an issue.

Keeping the Royal Law Challenge

Steve 20:35

Yeah, this is another practical part that James is giving. He's writing to these new Jewish believers and he's giving them instruction. The law was very strict. You do this and you're keeping the law. Now it's in a situation of how do we live our life outside this law? We have this, this faith that's in Jesus Christ, very practical things. To me, it's even greater than the law itself. Keeping the royal law is really, in a way, more difficult than keeping those mosaic laws. What would you say to that?

Glenn 21:08

I would agree. In fact, that was the exact question when the man came up to Jesus and said what's the first and greatest commandment? He gives this royal law, which is love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, soul, mind and strength in your neighbor as yourself. So love is this highest ethic, and if we truly love people, then we wouldn't be saying the things to them that we do. We'll learn this next time. Very practical advice on how to be a wise and gentle person that brings order to your life. Are you in a position where you don't have order and there's chaos around you? Well, James, very practical James is going to tell you how to have wisdom and deal with this in turn disorder into order, and we'll learn that next time as we reason through the Bible.

Steve 21:59

Thank you for watching and listening. May God bless you.